Well I'm just a little bit numb after having my sweetheart die after my first day at class at DeVry University. I mean shit how am I supposed to feel. I think I better start writing about it or i might just go fuckin mad.Blog,Journal
I keep putting off my homework for school til the last minute. I allow myself to be hypnotized by the web and all its different angles,instead of doing my work. Running to avoid being happy about school cause I feel guilty. This is supposed to be my happy time yet how can I be happy when Melissa is dead. Sweet Melissa
Lil Lissa my love ,my dream, my angel. GONE!! I guess its easier for me than her mom and dad but I loved her too. For 6 years she was my secret love. Even the 4 years I was with Lisa...I still had a flame in my heart for Melissa. Only now starting in February was it to be our time. Finally...but then no, fire of unknown origin took her from this life. S-protein blood disorder??? Heroin??? Which was it.Looking at her in that casket was one of the hardest things i ever had to do.She looked like she was having a dream.like she was gonna wake up and tell me WHY!!Morbid,Maybe.Fuck it I loved her.She was to be my girl...now shes with the worms. Better place she is said the priest,with our lord. I wish i had that kind of faith...Not at this moment.
I do believe her energy is out there somewhere.She is with me always and i know she knows I know. Can you dig that???Shes really my angel now. I wonder how to have another relationship now ... how do i get past this . All I want is some one to spend the rest of my days with. Someone beautiful and honest and loving.
